It’s ok to be selfish!

Spotify || Tik Tok || Instagram || Youtube

Hey, hope you're well.Here's your digest for this week. Hope you find these, inspiring and encouraging.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK

It's ok to be selfish!(approximately 5 min read)

I was recently approached by someone who wants to partner with me in my email marketing business. To be completely candid, this individual is further along than I am, and I stand the chance to gain a lot, not the least of which is knowledge of how to grow in the same field.After a few conversations, it seemed like there was real interest and opportunity to work together, all that was left was to develop and sign an agreement.When presented with the agreement, I noticed that it disproportionately favoured this other person, and would put my business in a less than desirable position.As much as there would be benefits to still partnering (financial and otherwise), I realized those short term benefits would quickly sour when set against the backdrop of how my own business would essentially be crippled.At this point, I had 2 options; i.) Take it ii.) Walk awayMake no mistake, taking it would serve some benefits. There would be a financial reward, but more importantly, I would now have a more experienced ally to learn from. But at what cost?Conversely, walking away from it I believe, would be the wiser decision, in the long term. But it did mean I would lose out on the benefits of having a more experienced partner.What was I to do?I realized there’s a third option. One that is perhaps more difficult than the other 2.Negotiate.Negotiating requires that you be disagreeable and ready to have difficult and awkward conversations.Like many people however, I’m very non-confrontational and will often quiet myself than risk conflict.That said, I’ve learned (and continue to learn), that being disagreeable (when you need to be) is one of the key skills required to build the kind of life you want.However I know that being disagreeable is difficult and awkward because you have to take on the role of the “bad guy” every now and then.So how can we train ourselves to be more disagreeable?Having a clear vision of the life you want!I am finding that nothing crystallizes my decision-making more than having a clear and resolute vision of the life I want.For me, that includes; time & location freedom, income control, and radical independence.I want a life where I control my time and income. One where I’m able to make more and work less.One where I’m not at the mercy of any one person, one company or one organization.I want to have options.Does that sound self-centred?To some it might, but to others, it echoes the very wishes they have but are too afraid to vocalize.Here’s a secret; everyone is selfish!Everyone is loyal first and foremost to themselves!Of course we all try to go through life causing as little damage to others as possible, but make no mistake, the instinct to self-preservation is perhaps the strongest instinct in humans.Your supervisor at work, only cares about you performing well to the extent that it makes him/her look good as a supervisor.Even if you run a business, your customers only care about your service/products to the extent that it solves a problem they have. If you stop solving their problem, they will move on to someone else.I know this sounds bleak, but it is the simple truth.Humans are fundamentally selfish and will look out first for their own interests.So when I was presented with this agreement, it made sense to me that this individual would stack the deck in their favour - they care about themselves FIRST AND FOREMOST!I wasn’t even angry at them. I just saw it for what it was - self-interest.My job was to do the same. To push back and renegotiate the terms that disproportionally disadvantaged me and my business - being ready to walk away if my terms were not met.Again, how did I summon the courage to say “NO, I want this instead” to someone who has more experience than I?I have a laser clear vision of my values and the kind of life I want to build for my family and I.Anything and anyone who does not align with that, I will part ways with, no matter what other benefits they might present.When you’re clear on your goals and visions, saying “NO” to things, people and “opportunities” that don’t align with them becomes quite easy.I know the idea that all humans are selfish is a very uncomfortable thought.It kicks against some of our innate sentiments. But it’s true.Thus, it serves you no good to pretend like it isn’t.The wise person, understands and accepts this but then asks themselves the question, “How can I look out for my best interest while causing as little damage to others as possible?”That is the best you can do.Not to pretend like you (and others) aren’t wired for self-preservation.But instead to accept it, and wield that in such a way as not to unnecessarily disadvantage others.But you must have a clear vision that’ll guide your decision making.So I want you to really think about this question;What does your dream life look like?Really think about it!What is your grand vision for your life?Are you being disagreeable and selfish enough to bring it to fruition?We’ll talk next week.

P.S. At some point, you'll know if the partnership deal went through

SONG I ENJOYED THIS WEEK

Odeal - All That it Takes

Stumbled on Odeal this week, and realized that I had heard his viral hit "Be Easy" on IG a while back. After diving deeper into his catalogue, I was pleased to learn he's not just a viral sensation. His style crosses R&B and Afropop and is very smooth. Loving this song.Listen now by clicking below or the image.

VIDEO I ENJOYED THIS WEEK

Turn Your Knowledge Into A Business (How To Productize Your Mind)

Be fairly warned. This video is heady! Meaning that it covers a lot of concepts. But it is very helpful and will get you thinking about the question; how can I move from using my time to using my mind to make more?Watch by clicking the image.

That's it for this week.Love you,ShopéP.S. Have you heard my latest song Ten (Mewa) and watched my latest YT video, 10 Surprising Habits that changed my life?

SOCIALS

Follow me on your favourite platform. Hint: I'm most active on YT & Tik Tok