Week #05 (Jan.28-Feb.3, 2019)

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Week #05 (Jan.28-Feb.3, 2019) - We NEED Your Weaknesses!

I have been BLOWN AWAY by the love and kindness you, my readers have shown to my family this past week. My last post confessed the recent difficulty I’ve been experiencing as a father and husband. I hesitated to put all that out there, for fear of how I or my wife would appear (I had her read it over beforehand and got her blessing), but in the end, decided to do it anyways. I wasn’t expecting it to resonate as much as it did. So many of you reached out by email, social media, texts and even in person, encouraging us, praying for us and telling us your personal stories. THANK YOU!All the love we receive reminded me of a simple truth I had almost forgotten; within reason, don’t be afraid to  show your scars and weaknesses. Now when I say this, I immediately have to point out 2 dangers. One is to use “my weakness” as a catch-all excuse for when we fail ourselves or others. You know, the “I’m only human” rationalization that doesn’t actually appreciate the significance of one’s transgressions. This posture takes a flippant attitude towards the implications and consequences of our so-called humanity. It’s proud, arrogant and will destroy you.The other danger is a sort of voyeuristic self-loathing. I once knew a guy who would lament his sins and the attending consequences on his life. I would patiently listen, offer sympathy, encouragement, and some wisdom as to how to respond to the things he couldn’t change, and change the things he could. We would meet again some time later, only for him to tell me that he hadn’t attempted any of the things I had suggested. Then he would once again proceed to bemoan his predicament. I would do what I always do; listen, sympathize, encourage, challenge. This pattern would repeat itself several times over. I wasn’t looking for an overnight change - people are complex, often with conflicting emotions. But I was looking for at least a willingness to try. In time it became apparent that he wasn’t really looking for help. I call this kind of confession “voyeuristic self-loathing” where the individual derives some sort of temporary unsatisfying relief from displaying one’s self-hate/guilt to others, but without any real intentions of changing. The problem is this is unsustainable and will ultimately consume the individual.With these 2 dangers out of the way, the public confession of weakness I’m encouraging is of the Paul variety, where he wrote,

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”-2 Corinthians 12:9-13 

This is a kind of confession that also displays an ultimate reliance on, and assurance of Christ’s power to keep us standing in the areas where we normally can’t stand.When I heard, the story about the parents who forgave their daughter's murderer I had a sneaking suspicion they had to be Christians. And indeed they were. Incredibly, the convicted killer (who later came to faith as a result of the love & forgiveness he witnessed his victim's parents) said,

"...normal people do not forgive the man that kills their daughter. Normal people would hate and condemn. Normal people would be angry and hold on to that anger and wish me nothing but evil and probably want me killed. Instead the Gromers decided to respond with forgiveness and respond in love....and that's nothing but the love of God shining through them". -Conor McBride

That last part of his statement couldn't be more true. It isn't them. It is Christ in them. His strength is being made perfect in their weakness.So confess your weaknesses as a way of showing your trust and dependence on God. Second, confess these areas because you inadvertently give others permission to testify to their own brokenness.The heart of the gospel is a loving Saviour coming to redeem a broken humanity. We are all broken by sin, external and internal, and in our hyperconnected world, it’s easy to feel even more isolated than ever before.I have an unreleased song where I say,

“We stand in other’s shadows, then we wonder why the lawnEveryday looking so dull,I guess it’s just the fall//Not the autumn leaves, but all of these bad habits,The oddities when our parents bit and grabbed it//” 

It’s so weird that we watch each others highlight reels on social media KNOWING it’s not the full picture, rather just a snapshot of all the wins. Yet we STILL compare their snapshot to our full picture. But what happens when we allow each other to see the other 80% we normally don’t show?You guys reminded me this week that  strength can be pulled from weakness. In a vertical sense, Christ’s strength is made visibly present in my weakness as He empowers me to keep persevering by His spirit. In a horizontal sense, you found strength for your journey by seeing the current messiness of my journey….and this brought me so much joy, which in turn, gave me more strength to keep pushing.Do you see it? The cyclical nature of how viewing our mutual weaknesses in turn produces mutual strength?! It’s beautiful isn’t it? So in sum, I say, we NEED your weaknesses.Until next week, #KnowItsRealP.S. In light of the 2 dangers I mentioned above, how do you know if your public confession is genuine or not? If it’s genuine, your public confession is also backed by private accountability with real people in your life who can actually walk with you. Putting yourself out there only to loose ties may offer a level of comfort, but it’ll only be superficial. These people do not really know you nor your context and thus, cannot do life with you, encouraging you where you need it, and challenging you when necessary. P.P.S. How open have you been about sharing your struggles?

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