Week #34 (Aug 19-25, 2019)

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Week #34 (Aug 19-25, 2019) - Don't Fake It!

"Fake it till you make it!" You’ve likely heard that expression before. To the unaware, it means create an impression of something that doesn’t actually exist, in the hopes that the impression might in fact produce that very thing. We see this most obviously personified in music videos flashing fancy sports cars and multimillion dollar mansions. Imagine my surprise many years ago when I learned those were rented 😂. Fast forward, what was once reserved for celebs has now become accessible to the common person, thanks to the internet. For next to nothing I can order some fancy looking clothes (emphasis on the “looking”) off any one of the million chinese online retailers. It only costs a couple of hundred dollars to rent a fancy car for a day (or even a couple of hours). And thanks to AirBnB, I can affordably find myself some lavish real estate for a day. There’s even a private jet photo service, where a set resembling the cabin of a private jet is constructed, and for a small fee, I’m on my way to my “next meeting” 🙄. Equipped with a camera in hand, some minor editing skills, and a basic knowledge of online marketing, my “Fake It” Package is complete.We’ve all seen the social media ads, or Instagram accounts either promising us the “keys to success” or “motivation” from self-proclaimed experts who have done it. While I can’t verify every single account, I’m pretty sure a great deal are faking it, given just how easy it is with the aforementioned strategy. What’s really interesting is, this strategy has in fact worked for some people. The allure for “success” causes us to admire and implicitly trust people who appear to have achieved it. In turn they monetize our trust and in so doing, eventually create the false image they were initially portraying.So what’s wrong with this strategy if it can work? For one, it rarely does. The “Fake It” strategy has failed more people than it has helped and has left them in worse positions than before. I watched a video of a girl who was tens of thousands of dollars in debt because she was trying to become an Instagram influencer. She took lavish trips, ate at fancy restaurants, bought expensive items, etc. to create an image of freedom & success, in the hopes of in fact, becoming those things (free & successful) via the influence she would build off people’s admiration of her perceived success. In the end, it failed, and she’s now having to climb her way out of potentially crippling debt. And her story is a dime a dozen. From financial to physical ruin, the “Fake It” strategy has claimed many a victim.Now I can hear someone say “BUT SHOPE! IT CAN WORK FOR SOME!” To that I say, even when it works, it is at best dishonest. I’m of the view that the end doesn’t always justify the means. There are ethical and unethical ways of achieving a given end, and I always strive for the ethical route. Furthermore, the nature of faking it comes with the need to present yourself as something you’re not. This means that you’re always on the clock, your mask is always on, and you’re never allowed to truly be yourself. This gets very exhausting, very quickly. Should you actually attain a level of success via this strategy, you’ve only set yourself up for more misery because you now have to maintain the charade for an even larger audience and for a longer period of time. This is one of the reasons people have mental breakdowns. Realizing that people don’t actually care about YOU, but only care about who they THINK you are, can be debilitating for many. Furthermore, you’ll quickly realize that the “success” you’ve garnered is a paltry substitute for the peace of mind you crave. Wouldn’t you rather attain success by being yourself? No fronts! No false advertising! Just the truth! There’s freedom in being genuine. It is true what the Bible says “The truth will set you free”!Finally, I hear someone saying “Shope! I’m not trying to be an Instagram influencer or public success figure. So this doesn’t apply to me”. I ask, how many different ways do we fake it in life? Here are some questions to ask yourself;

• Have I ever padded my resume or fudged a bit to get a job?

• Have I oversold my skills, abilities, etc. to anyone for some gain, even if it was just to appear better in their eyes?

• Have I ever cheated on my taxes?

• Have I ever falsely remained in a relationship I had no intention of committing to, simply because it brought me some comfort?

NOTE: In the case of staying in a relationship, I am not referring to working through difficulties in a relationship, especially a marriage. Here you have committed, so in this scenario, it is not faking it to fight to keep your union strong. Fighting to remain together is in fact, the best thing to do. The question above is simply referring to a situation where one party lies to the other about their commitment level, simply because the relationship brings a measure of selfish comfort. That’s faking it!Let me also say there’s a difference between faking it and persevering. One can genuinely persevere toward a desired goal while keeping a positive attitude in the midst of less than ideal circumstances. That’s not faking it. That’s simply being genuine and setting up oneself for a more emotionally secure and established future. The ultimate point is this; faking it comes in many different forms, and the root of it is a desire to manipulate others for selfish gain. Is that a tough pill to swallow? For sure! But is it truthful? You bet! Will accepting the difficult truth help you? Without a doubt! After all, the truth will set you free. Be genuine!

Until next week, 

#KnowItsRealP.S. Can you think of ways you've been faking it? You don't have to share specifics if you don't want to.

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